When the disciples each met Jesus they couldn’t wait to tell someone

Running to their friends, declaring something good has come

but when I met Jesus I was too afraid to share what I’d become

the rejection of their glaring eyes,

the whispers of their confused minds

I traded the joy for the acceptance of the world,

left him behind and I closed the door

He knocked, he called, but I silenced it, his calls were ignored

he walked past me, I pretended I couldn’t see him staring right at me

It felt better to lie, to hide and to confide

in the gossiping lips of the ones who sent my love to die

to accept their truths which I knew was a lie

but If I acted like I didn’t know maybe I could get by

Yet he cried my name from the distance, in the crowd with persistence

he reached out for me and continuously held out his hand from a distance

then finally one night, my spirit cried out

even though my back was turned, my heart burned

as he whispered gently I fell as my spirit yearned

for his love and forgiveness, his grace and acceptance

I knew it was time for my repentance